It was 10 days after Carl’s 23rd birthday when he received the call that his father had committed suicide. “I felt instantly numb” Carl says about that moment in his life. The days, months and even years that followed were filled with many questions and doubts. In many ways, it became a time of great uncertainty for Carl – a time when his beliefs about God, his model of the world, and what truly mattered in life all came into question. During this time Carl found himself turning toward addictive behaviours like pornography in an attempt to find solace, a way to escape the deep fears and turbulent emotions within.
“Everyone experiences storms in their life,” states Carl, “when it feels like the rug is being pulled out from underneath you and you’re in a free fall, grasping for something, for anything to hold on to.” These can be the moments when your impulse for certainty, comfort, significance and connection open the door to creating obsessive behaviours around anger, despair, self-pity, helplessness, food, alcohol, gambling, pornography, or even work and religion. These can be the moments when your search for meaning and transcendence may lead you down a dark and lonely path. And if you are not careful, these can be the moments that turn into a lifetime.
Three important discoveries Carl uncovered:
- Where you focus your attention and the meaning you give to any circumstance or behaviour in your life, will ultimately determine the quality of life you experience in any given moment.
- You are the author of your life story, not your circumstances. How you want your life story to read, sound, and play out is within your ability to choose. To this end, learning how to reframe the meaning you give to any painful or challenging circumstance or behaviour in your life will equip and empower you to transform your inner world, and as a result, the world around you.
- Following right on the heels of discovery #2 is awakening to the liberating truth that every behaviour serves a positive intention. Radical transformation begins with cultivating heartfelt understanding of why you do what you do. This awakening opens the door to gratitude, and gratitude is like healing rain to a dry and thirsty garden.
A New World Awaits You
As the founder of Unitas Project, Carl is passionate about helping people discover their unique voice and intrinsic worth. He is wholeheartedly committed to holding a space that helps dads, moms, and young adults break-free from their addictive, self-sabotaging patterns of behaviour, and become instruments of courageous transformation in their families, careers, schools and world.
Henry David Thoreau wrote, “If one advances in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.”
Carl is certified as a Strategic Interventionist and Marriage Educator through The Robbins-Madanes Center for Strategic Intervention. He is a certified NLP Practitioner through NLP Canada Inc. and has completed the Art and Science of Coaching program at Erickson College International. He also has a BFA from York University where he studied both Jazz and Classical musical performance on the double bass. Presently, he is enrolled at the Institute of Integrative Nutrition to become a certified health coach.
Carl, his wife, and children reside in the Durham Region of Ontario, where he enjoys hanging out with his family and friends, cycling, playing bass, gardening, reading, writing, going for walks and sharing a great ale over stimulating conversation.
Be You. Be Unitas.
Photo taken by Alina Joy Photography